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Thanks to cheap sitcom jokes, the marathon power poundings of pornand a host of other cultural and societal pressures, many men worry about not lasting long enough in bed. Lasting as long as Kanye Westthey learn, is a perquisite for good sex and self-respect. Popping off too early is visceral proof they cannot please a partner or live up to the expectations of masculinity.

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T he Semen Retention subreddit is a weird place to visit, filled both with arcane manifestos on the spiritual awakenings that supposedly come from never having orgasms, ever, and enthusiastic testimonials from sperm-filled dudes convinced that their onanistic disipline has caused all the women in their immediate vicinity to lust for them like cats in heat, even though actually having sex with one of these women would destroy their no-orgasm streak and, they fear, transform them back into average schmoes again.

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Save the swimmies! Photo: futurowoman. Perhaps it was flipping a motorcycle at 90 mph on Infineon Raceway.

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